It’s exactly a year since we drove up North. I just remember a mix of emotions as we headed up from the beach. I had taken a cup of sand and water from the gulf with the intent of dumping it into the Arctic Ocean. Kind of like dumping out my problems out into something so vast that none of them would matter anymore. I’ll say this: while I was on that voyage, none of those problems mattered. I didn’t think about any of them. No phone, no internet, no distractions. Just the road in front of me and all the time in the world to reflect on my life, without the pressure of everything that had gone wrong recently. Without this time away I doubt I could have figured out what I needed to do as a person and therefore handle things that had unfolded, and little to my knowledge at the time, get a whole lot worse. At least I was able to cast some existing ones into the cold void and come home with some answers.
Archives for April 2014
Peace thru war(thru peace and war).
We’ve reached the turning point. The peak is in our sight, and we’re about to discover if our path to it is clear, or if we have to find a longer route up. I’m in Oklahoma right now at the cancer treatment facility with Samantha. She’s getting pumped full of a dye, and then getting scanned. Tomorrow a doctor will tell us how it looks and if the chemotherapy did its job. If it has, she’s a month and a half away from being done with this.
With the way shit has gone over the last year, I’m just going to walk into the room with a blank slate. Positive, yes. I’m not owed anything, this building is full of so many sick people. Some more so than others. I guess I would just word it as, I know my wife and I and the personal battle we’ve fought during all of this, and I want to have a life and peace with this woman. This has been a journey that has caused a lot of change, amazingly good change despite the pain that’s come with it. In a few weeks I’ll have known my wife for 4 years, and I can honestly say that in some ways she’s at her best since I’ve known her.