Over the past year, I’ve learned a lot about how to move forward in a positive manner. Dealing with my problems in a healthy way definitely allowed some stability to come into my emotional well being, and I think that’s what brought me to where I’m at now. The process included coming face to face with an uncomfortable situation that I know a lot of people are faced with at some point in their lives: infidelity.
It’s a situation that is vilified as a life altering event, while at the same time seems to become more and more common due to social media. We invest so much of ourselves into our relationships that we can’t fathom how our partners could possibly be living a double life with someone else. So it usually blows up and is accompanied by a crumbling world sensation. Life’s over. The dream we had together is dead. Or at least that’s how it felt to me the first time it happened. Thankfully, I’m not as emotional as I used to be, and I feel like being patient and not wearing my emotions on my sleeve 24/7 was a benefit when this happened yet again.
I think an affair doesn’t necessarily have to be a death sentence for a relationship, and can actually be a way to mature and strengthen if handled the right way. It might not produce the same results for both people, and the relationship might not actually survive, but individually it could bring ones self to an enlightened and more aware path towards better relationships by being conscious of the other persons (and yours) needs. Reconnecting intimately is the challenge, and its up to the person that strayed to put a definitive end to their affair. Its hard enough with that elephant in the room, whispering insecurities…
I feel like my two experiences may have had similar roots, but produced far different results because of this path I was heading out on. Don’t get me wrong, it was still a death sensation. No true love could ever have a betrayal and not produce that ripped apart feeling. That being said, I learned from what happened, and remembered how I mishandled the same situation before. I was able to look at what caused it and why it was going on. Definitely taught me some lessons this time, whereas before things were just a mess.
Without an experience like this, I don’t know if I would have ended up now with a sense of self worth, as odd as that may sound. I finally was able to see myself in a way that wouldn’t allow me to be discarded like that again, and I was granted an eye opening vision towards the kind of person that wouldn’t do that to anyone in the first place. This time I recovered instead of ruined, when revisiting the despair brought on by an affair.