When your life turns into these trials that challenge you every single day, the days that follow after “good” days are sometimes hard to take emotionally. You just finally had something to cherish and inspire you, so what happens next is going to struggle to measure up. Today was one of those days and its almost like it is chemical, the effects this is having on my brain and body. I woke up next to my beautiful wife. It was like pulling teeth to force myself to leave her side. I guess when your day begins with you literally laying next to the thing you want the most, your brain is going to be scrambling to keep itself grounded. The thing that has to be remembered on days like this, is that there are two other people involved in this family equation. Obviously, my soulmate next to me had to wake up and probably encounter the same things I did. We have both gone through so many ups and so many more downs lately that it would be selfish of me to only think that I was going through all of these kinds of feelings. The other person is much more defenseless and requires both of us to sweep these struggles aside so that she is taken care of: Cali. She wanted to make pancakes. She wanted to jump into the pool. She doesn’t understand daddy and ema doing this dance ritual of confusion every single day, nor should she at her age. She loves us both. So it was time to whip up some flapjacks and jump into that damn pool with a smile on my face, and that is exactly how we spent this morning. Later on we went back over to my wife’s place to go with her to the doctors. This event showed me some very unexpected emotions. Not unexpected in the fact that I care about my wife’s health and any doctor visit should come with a little bit of worry, but I wasn’t prepared to be so overwhelmed with concern while I was in that doctors office. I almost freaked out to be honest. When we were walking to the car afterwards, it was her holding my hand and giving me the hug to let me know things would be fine. I guess I learned today just how helpless you can feel in that sort of situation when your loved ones are going up against something as serious as health. Luckily, the person I was going with to support was strong enough to support me too.
