Probably my favorite 4th of July memory was from 2 years ago. Everything you could want to surround yourself with was right there. My wife (she looked so gorgeous that day!) and I took our boat out and invited all of my friends from high school that were back in town and it was just kind of like our unofficial reunion. Being out on the water has always been a relaxing experience, and it was just a great moment in time. I will always remember it.
July 4th, 2004. London, England. The day and city I met my daughters mother. No matter what unpleasant experience I have to go through with her, I always remind myself my wonderful child was the product of our relationship. I was studying abroad through FSU’s graphic design program and just happened to run into her at the YMCA down the street from school. We hit it off immediately and went out to party that night at some club that was known as an American hang out. A month later we had run amok all over Europe and were headed back to Florida. The rest is history. Talk about a day in infamy. Its tattooed on my right thigh.
Last year. Pretty much yet another shameful event in my life that I am horrified by. My wife had a minor surgery to take care of something the day prior, so we had to scrap our boating plans with our friends. At least that is what I should have done. What did my selfish ass do? I still went. While my sick wife was recovering on the couch. What was I thinking? Yes she told me I could go but that is something I wish I could take back. I feel pathetic when I think about that day. I got in a fight at Crab Island trying to bail out my buddy who had stuck his nose in the wrong confrontation. What if I would have gotten hurt? Or arrested? My wife would have been unable to do anything and no one would have came home that night to make sure she was ok. I had hoped that I would have a shot at redemption this year to make it up to her. You cannot take back the past, and I hope one day she finds it in herself to forgive me for the things that I did.
Today was supposed to be a redo. We had plans to go out with some mutual friends, and I had encouraged her to invite some of her new friends that she had made recently. Even if things had remained on that path, it would not have happened. Its raining. Like Florida monsoon raining. I doubt there will be any fireworks tonight. So here I am, sitting in my lab at my office, without my family. Going back to holidays alone is going to be a tough pill to swallow. I wish at the very least I could have still gone out on the water with my friends but I guess when it rains, it fucking pours.
