My wife has cancer. There is no conspiracy against my life or my family. This is simply the hand dealt down. There is no time for woe is me, the eye of the bitch does no one any good in these situations. While yes, of course, I cannot believe the situations lined up in a chaotic row of tragedy that I’ve encountered the last year of my life, I will hold it together here. What alternative does a man have? It could be worse. I have a comfortable home for her. I have excellent health insurance. I have the ability to make a terrible situation have some sort of solution that can be sought out. Some people don’t have that. There is no woe is me, because someone always has it worse off. My wife is shell shocked right now, understandably so. I feel similar to when the miscarriage occurred, like I’m having an out of body experience. The words I say to rationalize this, the cliche lines of “it will all be ok” even though no one can no for sure what is going to happen…it all just seems like I am watching myself say these things and do these things while looking over my own shoulder. There is a haze around everything, thick with worry. I rebuilt my life majestically through a ton of pain and effort, only to choke on the smoke of its burning palace.