today I have been sober for 6 years
pt I
It’s become an annual revelation of the things in my life I’d consider to be unattainable had I not gotten sober. This year has amplified these acknowledgements and I’d like to point out something to anyone reading this: when the pandemic ground our country to a halt and AA meeting places closed their doors to those who sought solace in a daily ritual, it left an uncountable amount of people to fend for themselves. There is no shutdown of an addiction, and quarantine is a frightening proposition for anyone desperate for open doors of a fellowship. Our local meeting place was closed for several months and I hope those that needed the support were able to weather the storm. These are challenging times and everyone fighting the ghosts of their addiction shouldn’t be forgotten about.
pt II
Never would there have been the possibility of gaining custody of my daughter had I not gotten sober. I’m only a few weeks into being a full time parent and it is just as serendipitous as I’d thought it would be. Thinking about it, that this is (by far!) the most days in a row that I have gotten to see my child’s smiling face is both a joyous dream of what is to come and a bittersweet reminder of the time that I lost. We will make up for it though. There’s an entire world waiting for us to explore, and there’s no cold unfeeling system keeping us apart anymore. Every isn’t exactly the same but they are all wonderful days with her in my life.
pt III
It was never close to being perfect and that should be ok. As I try and think back to the common theme of these annual moments of reflection I would say it’s that things don’t magically change the day you stop drinking. Things might briefly get worse as you’re forced to reconcile with all of the mistakes that you’ve made and the chaos you’ve immersed yourself in is finally confronted with a clear mind. Further down the path is when the results of the changes you’ve made start to appear. There will be a day that comes when something you thought was previously impossible finally becomes possible. In that moment, you’ll realize that everything was set in motion from the decision you made years ago. The decision to change.
Christopher
